AKA “King Garby” AKA “this isn’t rocket science”
From the flat, wet, plainlands of your mom’s tits (Okoboji, Iowa (or Idaho (or Ohio (or whatever)))), Austin has been sending it up and down the snow pile ever since he can’t remember. If you have a question regarding corn, tractors, beer-bongs, or aerospace, Austin has you covered. Some of his hobbies include, drinking, playing piano, beer-bonging, working out, raging, singing, partying, studying, not sleeping, doing weird accents, oh….. and skiing. Most people ask the question, “Hey bro, do you ski or board? Cyeahaha?” Austin’s response is always, “Nah, I’m bi.” Ladies love it, so bros, if you wanna impress a girl at a party (and you ski and board), walk up to them and say, “Sup girl, I’m bi.” It works every time. So if you’re down to chill or kill, hit up Austin for a good time. Just make sure to always call your mom first.
AKA “Reidi Heinheimer” AKA “Sparkles” AKA “Highdi”
Raging since ’97, this party veteran knows how to get down. She enjoys the finer things like beer bongs, oversized drinking-ware, and glittery anything. When she isn’t playing with animals, you can find Heidi enjoying a salad of the devil’s lettuce or playing getting down on the dance floor (usually on elevated surfaces due to her short stature). If you asked this girl what her favorite hobby was, she’d tell you it’s going on an adventure with friends whether thats sending it down a snowy mountain or wandering through a forest. This sender can intake a lot more ethanol than it seems (or at least she thinks she can) and will always try to make sure everyone around her is at that level. As membership director it’s her job to get you to ensure you have a beer bong in your hand and that you’re part of the best club in the nation. Don’t be afraid to ask her to be your beer pong partner any time! Ask this ex-contortionist to see a party trick sometime.
AKA “Penguin Boob”
BREAKING NEWS: SKIER LOST IN NEW YORK HAS NO IDEA HOW SHE ENDED UP IN CALIFORNIA. Kayla Foyt, a 22-year-old ex-ski racer from Upstate New York, was reportedly found washed up on the shores of San Luis Obispo completely naked and cradling a half-eaten tub of tide pods. The 69-time Aprés Ski Olympian was last seen shredding a racecourse on a tiny east coast “mountain” when she caught an edge and took a tumble. Witnesses report seeing an 8 ft tall ape-like entity, what some believe to be the Abominable Snowman, rescue Foyt’s mangled body and disappear into the mountain. When questioned on her disappearance Foyt merely flashed a toothless smile and exclaimed “publicly relate to this, bitches!” whilst exposing a ripped nipple.
AKA “Chlo Hoe” AKA “Banana Girl”
Hailing from Fresno CA, known for its meth, murders, and raisins, this Catholic school girl had to learn how to make her own fun ;). From her first beer bong until now, Chloe truly embodies what it means to be a true ski clubber. Ask this chick to do anything and you’ll most likely get a yes… how else do you think she made it on imshmacked. As this year’s marketing director, she oversees spreading the love of ski club, so hit her up with any and all suggestions. With only one goal for this year, Chloe is ready to ski all day and rock all night so get ready for lots of deep sounds, champagne showers, and of course tons of fresh powder!
Born ‘n raised in the foothills of the Colorado Rockies (he actually has some sheets from his roommate back in Boulder), this sender’s dad taught him young that FriYAYs aren’t for work. They’re for hightailing to the highest ground. A firm believer that anyone faster is an idiot, and anyone slower is a jerry, he’s probably the best instructor on any mountain. Between creating new design concepts and trying to upload viruses to our website, you can find him enjoying the finer things in life like a cold Budweiser or a long nap. Kurtis found his way to us through the Holy Ceremony of Haus-Boating where Ron swaddled him to sleep every nap and That Guy Tent-poled him awake every morning. Since his initiation he has moved on to taking photos of y’all showing up amazing and getting the record groovin’. He’ll then proceed to take more photos until his memory card is full or he’s already got three photos of you sleeping on the couch with your shoes and a fresch, new mustache. Either way, you can thank him for the help with those amazing memories that somehow you couldn’t remember.
Event Planner / Activities
HELLOOOOO PARTY PEOPLE! Do you hear that? Chugga-chugga Chugga-chugga Chug-anotha CHOO CHOO!! IT’S THE MOTHAFUCKIN HYPETRAIN and let me tell you the hypetrain makes no stops (which is actually a pretty shit business model for a railway). Ian comes in full force with everything he does, with complete disregard for lost balance, dignity, or clothing. Ian is fueled by good vibes, and all the hype you throw at him he will deliver back to the party x100. You know Ian when you see him because he’s always the one without a shirt on waaaay before everyone else is at that level, and he’s probably dancing hard af with his eyes closed, because if he can’t see how bad it is, no one else can either, right? Ian’s the guy to go to for all your partying needs, just allow time for him to talk to literally everyone he makes eye contact with in the process of helping you out.
Event Planner / Logistics
AKA “Hannah Senders” AKA “Hannah from Alaska 2.0” AKA “that girl that shaved her head for erections”
Born in the frigid winter wonderland that is Anchorage, Alaska, Hannah learned how to ski before she learned how to walk. In fact, her first words were “pizza” and “french fry.” Nowadays, Hannah can be observed playing rage cage (for glory), taking beer bongs faster than you can yell “SEND IT” and canoodling with her on again off again boyfriend Ron Caballero. You can find her on the slopes racing pineapples and doing illustrious tricks like the worm turn or going off a jump spread eagle yelling “I’M A STAR!!” Hit her up if you lose any precious booty on small trips or if you want to know where the party is. PS ask her about her lip tattoo for a fun surprise 😉
AKA “Sharkbait” AKA “Yoder 2.0”
Raised in the Inland Empire, this sender grew up in a land far, far away from any mountains to rule. So he escaped to the rich flourishing lands of San Luis Obispo as soon as he could, with the goal of pursuing a degree in Engineering with good grades. All was grand in the land until he discovered he wasn’t happy. So he did what any smart college student would do, and joined the dopest club in all the land. And all was good.
AKA “Annecake” AKA “Bananneka”
Reigning from the holy holy lands of Utah, this bodacious babe knows how to play with other sister wives… if u know what I mean 😉 She was strapped into skis at the ripe age of 6.9 months old, making her the sendiest Utahan (Utahn? Utahite?) on board. This bootiful lady can be found working out her strawberry short-CAKES at the gym, staring blankly at a wall in the library, or going full tomahawk down the powdery slopes. Anneka was not erected for her skills in creative writing, but for her sexual expertise and ability to seduce every man and woman in ski club. Contact her through banana phone with your wildest stories from the weekend so she can recap ‘em in the weekly emails and if you see her dt, be sure to buy her a tequila shot or two. Disclaimer: will not accept beer bongs from freshmen.